Being real is important to me. I want to know people and I want to be known by them. But that requires effort and vulnerability. The smile, the bright eyes, the laughter – it’s nearly always genuine because the Lord has given me joy that doesn’t depend on my circumstances. There are those days however, when I use those some things (the smile & laughter) to mask an inner pain, a hurt & confusion that I don’t know how to deal with. Those are the days when I take my focus off of Jesus, when I stop walking by faith and instead start focusing on the stormy waters.
Oh I will run to Jesus and I pray about it. But then it hits again when I least expect it and I forget to run to Jesus or I get caught up in soothing my hurt through other avenues. But I know the truth that true healing will come only when I fully submit to Jesus and allow Him absolute control over my life. I can’t fix me. I can try to fill the void with everything but God but it will never work. I have to submit, to give up control.
Reign in me, Sovereign God, heal my heart. You are drawing me to Yourself. You are drawing me to a place of joy & peace. I will trust You fully.
“Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Phil 1:6)
Rest in the Lord. Trust in the Lord. More often than I like to admit, I stink at both. I see the work that He has begun in me, I just long to see more of it. He has been so faithful to me. Every day I see more of Him – He grows me, teaching me more about Himself. I long for more of Him.